Is it? I bet it would go better with a couple of cookies and a glass of your favorite beverage. Really, is Love all we need as humans to have a better existence here on planet Earth? Or does it depend on whether or not we've ever truly learned what Love is or how it was defined for us while we were little tykes trying to make sense of it all?
Recently, I was counseling with a close acquaintance of mine because she felt that she had done or said some things to sabotage her relationship with someone she really liked. She was very distraught because she shared with me that she had experienced one too many relationships gone bad and that she wanted to make a change with this guy so she finally let him in emotionally and physically.
Yes, she broke down some painful walls and allowed herself to feel, to bond with this special person in her life, but all along, she was telling herself that she did not deserve him and that sooner or later, he was going to leave her. As the law of attraction states, as one thinks and feels, one manifests those results. Sure enough, several weeks into the relationship, they hit a bump in the road that caused them to question their trust and respect for one another. It was a major bump, but out of respect for her privacy, I will just state that it would be very difficult for a non-trusting couple to get over and to move on, especially when one person is dealing with deep seated self doubt and unworthiness.
Well,everything came to a head, they had a heated emotional discussion and she said some things that made the break up even easier for him to decide. Self sabotage because she couldn't stand to know whether he truly would leave her after he found out that she was still working through some emotional and psychological baggage. She was more content in making sure she took the lead and then feel terribly guilty about it and commence to beat herself up emotionally even more. Thus, making the cycle of broken relationships much stronger.
I was honored that she called me to speak to her about it. It was very tough to understand her because she couldn't stop crying over the decision she had made. She rattled on about feeling guilty and what she had said and etc. until I finally got her to admit why she really did what she did to him. We got to the core of the issue. She said that she was afraid that she was not worthy of being loved and that he would eventually leave her because every important person in her life had left her. I told her I was very proud of her for having the courage to admit and say what her biggest fear was.
If you've ever felt this way, isn't it gut wrenching? I know I went through similar emotions and boy was it ever difficult to discuss this with anyone.
But how can you want to Love someone when this person had never truly known the true meaning of Love? Do you think that the work must start with her, to realize Love through spiritual or religious forces prior to getting into any relationship because if she doesn't have any love for self, how can she give it or share it with someone else?
It's unfortunate that some of us humans have to take the back roads approach to discovering what love is and what it feels like before we can take the long journey with someone? But its totally okay to do so, as long as you know that Love is something that is much bigger than yourself and that Love is worthiness, kind, forgiving, special, and all of the other great feelings associated with it, it doesn't matter how you acquire it- as long as you do! You were brought forth into this amazing reality out of it's love for existence and it's miraculous might. The same thing that makes up this Beautiful Earth, is the same thing that you and I are made of. And if Love is one of the awesome ingredients that created all of this, then Love is you! You find Love in finding your greatness and knowing that you have a connection with the power of life itself. It's the super infinite fuel for the soul...and the soulmate for everyone is out there to be discovered and connected to at the perfect time! Believe it- you truly are Love...
I ran into thousands of people literally this past weekend at the San Diego Comic Con and many of them were on their cell phones. And I am also guilty of that as well, but I was taking live video on FB so that I could share it with those that cannot make it to the Show due to tickets selling out quickly.
We even tend to use our little devices as conversation starters and or conversation pieces. Like who's the coolest youtuber, what's the latest game, have you seen the latest Trump video, and how many Pokemon have you caught lately?
So in a way, we are still talking, but instead of talking about our favorite book, TV or movie show, we are talking about the information we receive wireless through a tiny screen. Are the conversations richer because of this? And are we starting to talk the same way we have gotten used to texting in short abbreviated sentences?
Are you allowing cell phones at the dinner table? If so, why or why not? Do you feel that its encroaching on their right to express themselves or their right to spend their time as they choose? And if you do not allow cell phones at the dinner table, do you feel that it is disconnecting one another from each other? Or do you find it dis-respectful for someone not to be giving their full attention to a sacred family time? Or is your family time sacred, or highly meaningful to you?
I prefer that no one use their cell phone at the dinner table out of respect to our family time. Yes, its special to me when we eat even if its in silence or laughing about an experience we shared or we created. It is very rewarding and fulfilling to see everyone talking to each other and not lost in cyber fantasy. It is clear that our kids approve of the rule because they keep us honest about it as well. They appreciate their mom and dad time.
Are you saying much while you're talking? Or does it really matter? I believe that our Pokemon Go generation will have their heads buried in their phones for years to come, but its going to be up to us to set the tone, to set the priority and to keep each other talking because real talking is genuine connection to each other.
Its the 75th anniversary of Wonder Woman and the San Diego Comic Con is honoring this beautiful and powerful Icon with honor and pride. I am so proud to be a Wonder Woman fan! I have loved Linda Carter and how she represented the character in the tv series for many years.
As I think of Wonder Women in my life, I am in awe of how heroic they truly are whether in person or in spirit. In spirit, because my mother, Maria Luisa, passed away when I was five years old and she remained my Wonder Woman in my mind and in spirit. Although I only had one vague memory of her, it is what I held on to in order for me to stay on the right path. She represented hope, trust, faith, and life in my life through the spirit of love and memory. She gave me the strength and courage to pursue the goals that I wouldn't otherwise have pursued. She saved me from myself when at the edge of my last breath and made me realize that life was going to be always get better no matter what.
What woman in your life represents the Wonder Woman Icon? Maybe not so much in a super hero fantasy, but the actual female person that gives you hope and strength to carry on in real life.
My Wonder Woman in real life currently, is my wife Jo. She is an amazing friend, partner and psychiatrist wrapped in one. She's talented, funny, loving, understanding, caring, encouraging, and is the magnet of our family. People just love to be around and confide in her. She is clearly my real life Wonder Woman.
Her mother, my mother in law Norma, wouldn't be too far behind though. Talk about being the Matriarch of the family. She rules softly and with a cute smile, but she demands respect. Great cook, no holds barred type of organizer. She comes through when times get rough. She is an amazing hero.
I am blessed to know that my two beautiful daughters have received examples of great women in their lives an will continue to meet and set the high standard of being a real life Wonder Woman.
I also want to acknowledge all of the Wonder Women that are making an amazing contribution to society in the professional arena, service arena, and everywhere else! You are amazing and I love you!
Doesn't it feel outstanding when companies make you feel as if they have gone above and beyond with their service?
For example, I took my car in to have an oil change done and they not only did the oil change but they also topped all my fluids, inspected my brakes, vacuumed, and washed my car. When I got my car back, I thought that they had given me the wrong one because it looked amazing. In my mind I'm thinking that this is the best place to ever get my oil change and of course I'm going to send everyone I know to that place.
Do you think our local, state, or national officials are providing excellent service? Do you think our educators provide excellent service? Do you think every professional out there provides above and beyond excellent service? Of course not! But why not? Shouldn't this be a common practice by everyone?
Well, the positive side of this, is that if you have a service business and you provide the above and beyond service, you will be among the most sought out companies and you won't have too much competition to tend with.
When you go into a restaurant where your server is professional, polite, and attentive plus they give you unlimited complimentary delicious bread with your bbq lunch or dinner, it makes a statement! Chance are that you are going to want to return to that restaurant- or any business that goes above and beyond.
It is an honor and a privilege to share with you our labor of love, "Times of Tension", The Isaiah Cooley Story.
My co-author, Omar Reza and I are super excited about the release of our book in soft cover format on createspace.com and also as a re-release e-book on Amazon.com.
Times of Tension is an action packed and drama filled book about what a family does to save one of their own. It is about real feelings and strong emotions that capture your heart and mind if you've ever had to make some tough decisions about a family member(s). It is riveting and inspirational at the same time. The love of family is awe inspiring and is continuous throughout the story.
It is about sheer perseverance, love, and tolerance through the life of a young African American teen. Isaiah Cooley, who because of his gang affiliation, is forced to leave everything he has ever known behind and go start a brand new life in a place so different than what he is used to. The "hood life" in Compton California, has finally over-shadowed his massive potential on and off the football field and because of the love of his family and community, he has been sent to a different part of the nation to be saved from himself.
He must now learn to tolerate, respect, and embrace a different culture before it also ends his football career and possibly his life as well. He and the star of the team, Johnny cannot see eye to eye in the beginning and have a violent interchange on the practice field. The Coach, willing to put the state championship on the line, forces both players to make a choice of giving up the game or to go see the school counselor for personal guidance so that they can resolve their tiff. Isaiah has a lot to lose and a lot yet to prove so he chooses to go through the counseling process only to find that he can count on others to help him through his challenges.
In the end, Isaiah takes us on an emotional ride as he perseveres through all of the obstacles that come his way and in order to know the outcome, well, you have got to download or buy the book. I promise you that you will love it and will be very worth your time. Happy reading and please let us know what you think of the story and how it touched you.
Joe Mendoza and Omar Reza
Do we really want them to Go or do we want them to stay so that we can catch them all? But first, I want to say thank you to my lovely wife Joanne for contributing the cool items for my pics.
Pokemon Go is a huge sensation, my own kids seem to think so. My oldest daughter for instance, got me to meet up with her at least once a week to "walk" around different parts of San Diego. Is it Pokemon time or father time? Its a combination of both and I'm okay with it. She involves me in the process and I'm really interested. Well, only because it has given her a way to exercise, spend time with her dad, and enjoy her games.
How do you see this phenomena? What is your opinion of this game that has kids wanting to get out of the house and searching for digital make belief creatures you can throw Poke balls at and catch them?
I read an article today about how an 18 year old in Texas got bit by a rattlesnake because he was so fixed by the game and didn't see the venomous snake. He was rushed to the hospital. There have also been reports of other minor accidents because of this game, but overall, it is serving a decent purpose, or is it?
This game is very new and only time will tell of how far something like this can go. I see schools implementing something like this and using it with the core subjects using it to engage students into learning their times tables, nouns, and planets. I can see field trips being a much more engaging experience, but they all have to be done with safety of course.
Gotta catch them all or do we? I'm curious about what other people think and are saying.
One of my former students recently wrote to me and expressed to me that she was very- very thankful that I had taken the time to listen and care because she had been living on the edge of frustration, confusion, and hate. She felt that she had no-one and she was very scared. She wanted to end it all...
It made me remember the day of the breakthrough I had with her. Yes, you probably guessed that this student was someone that wasn't living by the rules and had little to no regard for her safety and the safety of others. She wasn't having it. She was going to make sure that someone paid attention to her no matter what it took. She started issues in the morning with the hall monitors and other students, while in class, while at the library, at lunch, and at dismissal. She was relentless and most always ended up at the office ISS desk waiting for an administrator to assess what happened and to determine the outcome.
She had built a reputation of getting kicked out of class and was doing everything to stay consistent with her persona. I was compelled to help her because I knew she was calling out for serious help. Once again, she had managed to end up at my office sitting there looking as if life was such a burden. I didn't quite know what approach to take with her, but I knew that I could not come off too punitive because she could close off completely nor could I be so passive because she would feel as I was no one that could help. As I spoke to her, I told her in a very serious yet caring voice, that I was sending her home and she immediately pleaded with me not to do so. She was horrified of going home. Wait a minute, I thought to myself- the obvious issue is her home life. And since I could relate to her due to my home issues when I was growing up, I became her advocate. Not to empower her and let her get away with things, but to empower herself enough to regain some self respect for the present and for when she decided to move forward. I wanted to restore some sense of dignity for her.
I established rapport with her, and from that, she had mentioned that she had been at the edge of deciding whether or not she wanted to be here anymore. Her mother and father had abandoned her and had left her with an abusive sister to help her make it through. The sister made it so obvious that she did not want anything to with her, and that she was only watching her because the mom was invested with her in a business. I listened intently and told her that I understood, but I wanted her to see things from my point of view as and administrator who is responsible for assuring that all kids need to learn.
Needless to say, I was able to convince this young lady to meet with the school counselor to go over social appropriate patterns of behavior. She trusted enough in me to have the counselor work with her and in doing so, she starting showing signs of stability after a week. Their relationship got stronger and the student stopped self mutilating and became a lot more respectfully toward students and teachers. She looked so proud in her graduation dress as she came up to receive her diploma. A moment of tears, tough to hold back. She promised me that she was going to graduate from High School and from College and wants to become a school counselor some day to help other students. Sounds all too familiar...love it!
Yes, we all cry, shout, of fight for help when we really need it, especially when we are at the edge of our last breath, but there is always help, always a different way to see your situation no matter how bleak. I often wonder what if I had never gone to work at that school- what would have happened to her? I often wonder about that phrase, "Approach life with such a passion that if it only helps one person, then you have made a lifetime contribution!" I Wonder...
But I am hoping to make it to her graduations...I'm very proud of her...
It's 2016 and we here in America, are still having conversations about which lives matter?! Wow- and I'd like to think that because this is the most progressive, technologically advanced, and diverse country in the world, we would know the answer to that question. Or do we?
What are the answers? Who has the answers? Is it a collective issue? Is it a government issue? Is it an individual issue?
I believe that we all know the answer, but the evidence/stats show that the incidents that involve wrongful treatment from law enforcement, primarily still involve minority groups. It's not misinformation that groups are reacting to. However, the data does not report how the person was acting at the time, but it does report who was involved, who lost their life, who was incarcerated, or who was handed over a sentence.
I believe that historical incidents also play a role in how reactive people can become. For example, the Rodney King incident still resonates strongly in my mind and I know that it resonates strongly in other people's minds. It was such a traumatic event for many of us who saw that video clip of him being beaten over and over again. So imagine being an African American/Black watching that clip over and over again and what it did to his or her psyche. And then imagine being Caucasian/White and watching that clip over and over again and how they too must've been affected.
Many people have worked hard to put in place many anti-bullying campaigns in schools and many of our minorities have grown up listening to a ton of these lectures only to see that the bullying or perceived bullying is being perpetrated by those in position of trust and power. This can easily lead to a bit of confusion and mistrust.
As a psychology major and counselor for many years it is apparent that a human being will react according to their senses and experiences. If they are exposed to experiences in where they will have a reason or perceived reason to defend themselves they will. And it works both ways because both sides want respect and to stay alive if it went to that extent.
I believe that it is so easy to be reactive based on continued tragic incidents like the ones from yesterday because it is such an emotionally charged issue that hasn't yet been resolved across America. I know that good work has been done to address it and many precincts have made it a priority, but some haven't followed. It is about life and death after all. Something of huge importance.
Don't want to seem pessimistic because I know that we are human beings who do want what's best for each other in America because All Lives Matter (ALM)! I want to be part of the solution. I want my children and everyone's children to be treated with dignity and respect. We are capable-Very!
I can't help to think of what this beautiful Earth has to offer and why so many will be able to fulfill their wants. We even call them bucket lists.
For example: I currently want to experience a week in Spain, I want to visit the ruins in Rome, I want to experience the falls in Maui, I want to take my family on a Disney Cruise, I want to live in a high tech home with a beautiful zen garden where I can meditate and practice Tia Chi, I want to be able to have access to healthy food at all times, I want to visit with my good friends and family frequently, I want to have the time to write more youth empowerment books, I want to have the time to write more poetry and music, I want to visit Cancun, I want to go to Peru, I want to visit Egypt and all of the Middle East, I want to go to Africa, I want to explore South America, and etc.
What do you want? I know we all want, and its okay to do so. But be careful where you put your focus on because they will happen to you when you least expect it.
Yes, the universe will pick up on your energy and it will direct that energy toward situations and people that can make it happen for you. It aligns the energy that you are mostly giving off to make it happen. I'm sure you have been witness to this as many are and we call it miracles.
The fact that we can actually want is a miracle, and if we are the ones wanting, aren't we then the miracle?
Life is way too short not to figure out how to make it more exciting and more inviting! You can see "IT" as in the art of making love or you can see it as distributing Love into everything that you are all about. "IT" always feels better when there is a passion, a lust, a want, and a massive desire for "IT".
Whatever your "IT" is, if you remember what was going through your mind when you felt that "IT" was the right thing and it felt natural and explosive all together, it made you feel super awesome and unstoppable! There was no stopping you from going after what you truly wanted. Or was there? If there was something stopping you- it was because limitations were placed into your subconscious mind and you felt fear of going after them. Don't worry though, because if you truly feel that that thing you desire is really worth it, your mind has a way of making it so. The body pursues the mind and the feelings associated with it. That is universal Law.
"IT" stays magical and exciting when you continue to nurture yourself through your spirit because that is where everything begins. Yes, keeping a sexy mind is keeping a sexy body! Keeping a sexy soul is keeping a sexy attitude. You become a magnet to pleasure. And no, I am not just referring to having sex all the time, although that is very healthy thing, it is referring how you decide to make this journey here on Earth meet your needs. Everyone around you can't help but notice that you have "IT" and they want to know how you got "IT".
Yes, your needs are always going to be met by how you choose to spend your time here on earth- and while you're here on this Earth, you will have to do "IT" more than just once! So go out and enjoy yourselves by putting a little MaxEffort into your day so that "IT" is a beautiful one for you.
For those of us who have children- we must continue to find motivational words to feed their soul. Yes, this is Hollywood, but the words ring so true...
How many times were you told that you were enough and that you were good enough for whatever you attempted with passion in your heart? Imagine not being told any of that and all you wanted was an atta boy from your parents- that can definitely have devastating affects on how a child moves forward in life. He or she will either believe in themselves and have confidence or they can approach things always second guessing themselves and seeking approval from someone. If your situation was the later, I bet its exhausting wanting to know that what you do is good enough, but if your full of sincere confidence, not the cocky type, then life just seems, tastes, and sounds a bit different.
You have got to know that you have got to choose to put into your mind that it wasn't your fault that your parents did not praise, care, or love you the way that it should've been! You have got to know that you have the power to empower your own soul and flip that switch over to the greatness that you are and have always been. Once you know that you have the infinite power within you and that you come from Divinity, nothing can ever affect you negatively. You came from and walk with grace: and grace will carry you through everything. Don't ever quit, don't, just don't!
What defines a Hardcore fan? Is it the time spent watching their favorite team win or lose? Is it wearing all the new gear with the Logo year after year? Is it having season tickets or maybe just the playoff ones or both? Do you decorate your house or man cave, woman cave with the essential team mascots or team stars? Does this qualify you as a Hardcore fan?
Are you a hardcore fan in other aspects of your life? Do you pay attention to your children's feelings and especially your wife's? Or is being a fan of a specific team more important to you than their time?
Are you a hardcore fan of good health? Do you rant and rave about how many miles you can run, how many push ups, sit ups that make you stay healthy so that you can enjoy having more fun?
Are you a hardcore fan of good mental health? Do you spend time reading, meditating, or thinking good thoughts that can bring you wealth? Monetary wealth is one kind of wealth, but wealth in relationships, career, family, and community type wealth with meaning and purpose!
What makes you a hardcore fan? A fan of a team that maybe has learned the magic ingredients to market to the people to keep them coming year after year regardless if they've never had a winning year?
Never did I say being a fan is not a good thing, but if you put you and your family first, they will probably find you simply wonderful and amazing!
Is it as easy as saying that you honor your mother and father? Or do challenge yourself and maybe think about the person who is homeless and walks around pushing a shopping cart?
I think that its very easy for us to say that we honor our mothers and fathers especially if you were raised in a religious house hold. Its practically force fed every Sunday or anytime you have a bible study etc. Not that its a bad thing of course, but does it drive us from not honoring things that may not even be human.
For example, I honor the animals, insects, etc. because without them, the life cycle would not be complete. Bees, for instance, are critical in the pollination process in order for certain plants to produce the rich foods that give us important nutrients. I'm sure you can think of another type of animal that plays a significant role in the life cycle.
Back to the honor point. It is so interesting to me that many other cultures have learned to honor not only themselves and their family, but also their environment and the earth they depend from. Yes, they honor the elements around them and even have rituals to show their love and respect for them. This is the beauty in the beauty of knowing that we are connected and intertwined with every vine that has the privilege to see the sun shine.
I honor you, yes of course, but I also honor your ability and capacity to honor the sun, the moon, the stars, the oceans, the mountains, the electricity, and your parents/family who are all connected to the bigger picture of life itself, your faith, and your love of God!
I love the majesty of this Planet earth and I do wonder what is truly becoming of it because so many people do not honor the beauty and Love that it is giving us on a daily basis.