i was talking to a close friend of mine tonight and he was telling me about how he had made big mistakes with his first wife because he admitted he felt that if he provided for her, that that was enough! He felt that he could stay out as long as he wanted, spend as he pleases and come and go anywhere he wanted because he was convinced that he was the man of the house. In a weary voice, heshamefully admitted that he knew that he had driven his relationship into the ground because of that mentality. He felt that he had failed her and his family because of it.
Needless to say, he told me that he was now in a new relationship in where he changed how he perceived relationships and shifted his thinking into one of appreciation and admiration for your spouse and not the latter. He now knew that true love meant so much more than thinking that all we have to do is provide materialistic needs- instead we also need to provide emotional, sexual, psychological, and spiritual support! This is real everlasting Love!
Love is why a relationship endures and perseveres all! Love is why I know my Love Joanne continues to smile and keep our family strong!
The anatomy of anything is just looking at the make up or inner workings of something. Because we can't see trust itself, many experts have tried to define it in such a straightforward psychological way.
I am going to try and explain trust in a simple- if that's even possible, so that it makes sense to me and hopefully you.
1. Clear boundaries have to be established with yourself about yourself and how you define it. You must learn to trust yourself!
2. There must exist a reliable friendship, in where you know that person will rely on you and vice-versa.
3. You must decide, what and how much you share with any person you decide to completely trust. Somethings are better left in the vault.
4. If you want trust in your relationships, then you must live a life of integrity. That is, you must do and live by a set of values that are consistent with great character!
5. And last, but not least, a trusting person is a non-judgement type of person.
These are some of the concepts that Brene Briown talks about on Oprah's master class so eloquently. It made sense and it is so true that we as human beings can never escape trying to define and instill trust in our lives. It is a gift when you know you have people in your life that can you truly trust with your life.
I heard a very wise man tell a story about how he was very proud to have adopted his daughter. He talked about how no one had even given her a look because she was at that critical age of 13 where it's very hard to be adopted. But he took the chance and was super happy that he did. In doing so, he talked to her about her responsibilities as his daughter and how she was expected to follow the rules. He then asked her, "What do you think my job is?" She hesitated and answered that he was to make the rules and make sure she followed them. "Wise answer, he thought, but that's not my job at all", I replied. "My job is to Lay down my life for you, to make sure you feel safe, to provide for you, and to give you love and guidance!"
Yes, his reply nearly had me in tears! I had never heard anything like that, although I have tried my best to convey something like that to my own children. I imagined how my life would have been if someone had told me that they would lay down their life for me! No use in living in the what could have been, instead I wanted to share this so that other people might share this with those who may need it in order to feel loved like we all should feel!
Yes, once our children are granted to us, we must be ready to lay down our lives for them, for they are our greatest treasure worth any materialistic possession on this universe!
What a fabulous year 2015 turned out to be! Why, you may ask? For many amazingly grateful moments that I'm so fortunate to be a part of if I may say. For example, I wake up with gratitude for my continued great health, my positive relationships with my family and friends, and the privilege to work and serve children at Horizon Montessori public schools.
As some of you may already know, my family and I decided to make the move to South Texas this past April and we have been here for about 9 months now. It has been quite the experience and we appreciate the opportunity to live and learn about where I got my start. My wife and children have a clearer understanding of how close people can become with one another and how supportive they can be as well. I have enjoyed reconnecting with my childhood friends and family. Truly a blessing!
This has come with a lot of sacrifices. The biggest one is being away from our San Diego family! We do miss them tremendously. Also, there's little to do out here as compared to San Diego.
Another highlight of this year came recently when I was appointed interim principal at the school where I work at. I have achieved another goal on my list! With this comes the opportunity to lead and serve in the best way possible where it helps my staff and students grow!
I'm truly grateful for another year filled with love, family, great health, purpose, contribution, and prosperity! I'm looking forward to a great 2016!!!