Win at Love and Beat Divorce with a Golden Stick

With the divorce rate at 65%, I wonder if couples go into their relationships now a days thinking that the possibility of getting divorced is extremely  high and indirectly expect it to maybe happen to them.  I believe you too can win at Love!  

But how can a couple prevent the possible or impossible inevitable?  Or is it something that is preventable or is it already written in our destinies to divorce and meet up with someone else that is truly our soul-mate?  I would love to think that a relationship based on the notion of pure Love, will most definitely survive!  Even if it is a new relationship that began from the outcome of a divorce in the first place.  It just has to because, with Love, all things are possible.  Love gives you the courage, understanding, fortitude, intuition, ability to listen, and the ability to be totally present for yourself and for your life partner.  Anyone can master or become familiar with these are critical areas in their lives.  I am truly convinced that amazing things come from a place of love, but remember that there must exist a very healthy love of self first before we can even share it with anyone else.  

Love has to be something that is understood by you and your partner and what that means to both of you.  Remember that we are all unique in our definition of what Love means based on who taught us what that emotion truly means. When courting the person that you think is the one, we usually don't get to see all the underneath stuff that has been stored away due to painful experiences and or traumatic events in the family, school, and or community.  Many of these issues and experiences can surface after we feel secure in our marital union, but don't think that your partner will always be ready to understand and or willing to take the journey with you to resolution.  Love can do that for you, if you have been committed in true total unconditional Love of the person you met and said you would be there for not matter what! Love can move mountains and restore your faith in you in order for you to live in peaceful mental tranquility.  Issues of trust, abandonment, not worthiness, unloved, and or physical trauma can all be overcome if the relationship is sustained with the strong hold of Love.  

Survival also suggests that there are going to be small or big challenges in your journey together.  We are after all, evolving humans learning to co-exist harmoniously in this vast world of distractions.  No, I am not suggesting that all distractions are negative, it's how we manage and pro-actively decide how we choose to be distracted or not distracted that will make all the difference in the world.  Distractions can be many things.  It can be how you notice that he or she smiles or doesn't smile like you thought she or he did.  It could be the demands from work, your family, your friends, social media, or you just feeling unbalanced due to an illness, financial, or religious stress.  

A few things to consider that makes our relationship flourish.

1.  Always show gratitude- for any little thing that they do, their smile, their health, their food, and etc. 
2.  Listen and be present for them- put away your phone, turn off the TV, ipad, etc and truly listen.  It shows sincere interest, concern, and love. 
3.  Stay unconditional- in other words, don't compliment her so that she will do something in return, just do it because it comes from your heart with sincerity and love. 4.  Don't try to be right all the time- the relationship will strain if most of your conversations turn into power struggles.  It's better to allow each point of view and then allow things to resolve themselves out accordingly. 
5.  Practice sincere honesty- with the little and big things of course, but there are spiritual things that you should be honest about also; for example, don't just do or undertake any job, project, or money endeavor because you think your partner wants you to, instead, be honest and tell your spouse that its not what you want to do.  Or if you think there is a situation you can handle and you know you really can't, just be honest about it.  It will save you a lot of heart ache in the long run.  

I wish you the best on your super special journey of Love with one another.  Please feel free to contact me and my wife and I would be more than open to share some of our thoughts with any challenges you may be facing.  After all, it is you who ultimate decides what your fate will be. 

With Love, 

Joseph Mendoza